Step 1: After hearing persistent chatter about the best, newest, prettiest, most special social networking site Jesus Christ himself will ever know, you finally get an invitation.

Step 2: Plot world dominance with your new-found feelings of superiority.

Step 3: Log in to create a profile, and realize that the rumors of Google+’s magic have been greatly exaggerated. Then realize that you only know about seven people on the site, and immediately feel burdened by the task of putting those seven people into “circles.” These circles will force you to evaluate your relationships with each of these people and induce unnecessarily philosophical questions about the difference between a friend and an acquaintance, leaving you feeling hollow and defeated.

Step 4: Accept the paradoxical reality that the only way Google+ could be a successful resource is if everyone you know joined it, which would ultimately ruin its appeal. Abandon your dream of Google+ being a new land of milk and honey. Feel daunted by the responsibility of maintaining yet another profile somewhere on the internet. Become deeply depressed.

Step 5: Check Facebook, because even though you hate Facebook, it’s where everyone you know actually is.

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27 Responses to how Google+ makes you feel like an assh*le

  1. Kelli says:

    That’s pretty much how it went, except my friend’s cat went to the vet.

  2. christina says:

    fabulously spot on!

  3. Marisa says:

    My thoughts exactly!!! And I think my hair is actually less shiny now.

  4. Loved this!! I’ve been on it a few days now and am still unsure what I should do with it. Bah.

    And that last drawing? I can so relate.

  5. Fantastic.
    Although I often feel dumb – these days, it’s happening more and more. F U Google+!

  6. WWSLD says:

    My sentiments exactly! Also, I loved the cartoons.

  7. jillsmo says:

    Yeah, that sounds about right! Except funnier.

  8. Me says:

    So. much. word.

  9. Suniverse says:

    I refuse to get on anymore social networking sites, because there is only so much a girl can handle. I am DONE! I may even go back to CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE OR WRITING LETTERS.


    I am old.

  10. Tonya says:

    I am so with you! I don’t “get” it. I don’t even care about another social media outlet.

  11. tayarra says:

    Hilarious! Yep, feeling pretty dumb over there! Love your illustrations!

  12. Leighann says:

    You have just assisted me in making the decision to not join.. however, I would need an invitation.
    I have not been invited.

  13. Hey Leighann, I will send you an invite so that you can turn it down!! That would be fun.

    I agree, so far I am just not certain what all the hype is about. I have my profile but much life Facebook has become to me, I suspect that it may just sit there . . . checked every once in a while.

  14. Kelley says:

    This was so funny AND informative! You told me everything I needed to know!

  15. I have heard of this so call Google+ but have avoided it and am quite content in my little bubble of naivity.
    Brilliant post as always!! :))))
    I have taken to drawing (more like scribbles) on my site. Its addictive and I also suck at it. But sometimes a pic can explain sooo much more!

  16. But, I just now got invited, the email before this one. What to do!!??

  17. Flannery says:

    I’m with Suniverse…I can’t handle anymore cool, new social networking thingys. There’s just no more time left. I’d have to stop showering and quit my job…and the not showering part would be bad.

  18. Sue/RFamHere says:

    Funny and oh so true!

  19. I just got an invite to join Google+ and the prospect of setting up another online profile immediately made me feel tired.

  20. Lisa says:

    I’m actually not cool enough to be personally invited to this site yet… it makes me feel like an outsider. Enough so that I think if I had the brains I could come up with a rebellious site that allows anyone to join. But combined with the fact that that site already exists and it’s called facebook and the fact that I just feel terrible that internet wise I’m not popular enough. It’s made me realise that I’m stuck in High School again where I’m simply not the popular kid and I’m left hearing about the cool parties but not invited to them. This makes me sad… and slightly resent google+.

  21. MamaRobinJ says:

    Pretty much, yup. Dying to see where it goes though.

  22. Ryan says:

    Couldn’t disagree more. I’m so relieved to get rid of the crap infested sinkhole that Facebook has become… and have actual useful (and not buried under a million levels of menus) privacy controls. Also, the asynchronous nature of circles vs the synchronous nature of Facebook’s friends makes is far more applicable to social media.

  23. Alexandra says:

    That is EXACTLY what happened to me my first and only time there.

    Categorize people?

    I will not.

  24. JJ says:

    I joined, got overwhelmed, haven’t been back and now people I don’t talk to on Facebook keep adding me to circles. What I’m trying to say is that this illustration is EXACTLY as it happened, I’m not sure how you got into my head though. Or maybe I am in your head. Or maybe we are in the same mythical circle. Oh dear, now I’m just confused again. In any case, whenever anyone asks me about G+, I’ll just send them here.

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