Step 1: After hearing persistent chatter about the best, newest, prettiest, most special social networking site Jesus Christ himself will ever know, you finally get an invitation.

Step 2: Plot world dominance with your new-found feelings of superiority.

Step 3: Log in to create a profile, and realize that the rumors of Google+’s magic have been greatly exaggerated. Then realize that you only know about seven people on the site, and immediately feel burdened by the task of putting those seven people into “circles.” These circles will force you to evaluate your relationships with each of these people and induce unnecessarily philosophical questions about the difference between a friend and an acquaintance, leaving you feeling hollow and defeated.

Step 4: Accept the paradoxical reality that the only way Google+ could be a successful resource is if everyone you know joined it, which would ultimately ruin its appeal. Abandon your dream of Google+ being a new land of milk and honey. Feel daunted by the responsibility of maintaining yet another profile somewhere on the internet. Become deeply depressed.

Step 5: Check Facebook, because even though you hate Facebook, it’s where everyone you know actually is.