Here’s something that happens:
Okay. So, this part is actually fine.
People being nice is the coolest. Everyone should try it.
But here’s where things get tricky.
This virtual stranger wants to talk to me. And while I’m hoping my face says:
Something in my inherently awkward body language says:
And even this part would be fine.
But then the person says something like:
And I’m thinking to myself: Unless I’ve seen your cat on the internet already, I’m certain you are exaggerating.
But it doesn’t matter that this is an average house cat we’re talking about now, because it’s already started. And like a snowball rolling out of control into a fresh pile of boring, we’re off.
10 minutes later…
15 minutes after that…
And around this time, I’m thinking: I wish this person would either be more interesting or shut her stupid, talking face.
But they will not get more interesting.
And she will not stop.
And things keep going from bad to worse.
And some time later, my only recourse is to do something drastic…
It’s awful.
But this story has a happy ending, because my friend Jessica Hagy has written a new book. And it’s going to save the world.
That’s right! Now, you will be fully armed in the face of boring people. The next time someone asks you to discuss something mundane, like your taxes or their gluten allergy, just hand them this book and walk away slowly.
Or read it yourself. Her publisher sent me a copy, and I think it’s pretty fantastic. And inspiring. And funny. And other good things.
And. AND!
In honor of Jessica’s new book and as a sort of apology for all of the time I’ve been absent, I am giving away three copies of How to Be Interesting.
To win, just leave your name in the comment section, and I will randomly draw names. Check back next Monday for the winners.
I realize my time away has left you with some unresolved trust issues, but if you come back next Monday, the winners’ names will be here. I promise.
Disclaimer: While I did receive a copy of this book, I did not receive additional copies for a giveaway. It’s just that good, okay.
UPDATE: Because there were way more comments than I expected and because I do what I want, I decided to give away four copies of the book, and using some random comment picker site, Cici, DB, Megan Harris, Kimberly Jones were selected. Yay! I’ve emailed them the details on how to get their books, but I wish I could have given everyone copies because I need more email friends. (And also friends in general.) Does anyone want to hang out this weekend?
81 Responses to good news for people who hate boring news (updated)
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my name is jordie v! pick me!
(Note: I could’ve just gone with the more demure “My name is Jordan”, but then I couldn’t have rhymed, and that would be sad. I’m sure you understand.)
I’m glad you are back. Your blog is bookmarked and I check it often. But more importantly, I have to tell you about MY cat…
Cool
I could really use this book. Really. I’m quite boring. So I’m trusting you to come back, okay?
We’ve missed you, come back and write more stuff!
Also, free book!
Welcome back!
Welcome back! I’d love a copy of this book. I know a few folks who could use it.
So, I’m pretty sure I am the boring person featured in your cartoon. Sorry about that. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say and keep talking to avoid silence.
clearly, I need this book.
So glad you’re back!
I feel this way so much – thank you for this genius post! And congratulations ot Jessica!
ot means to today – in case you didn’t get that memo.
Yay you’re back!
my name is Shaina, NOT Shania
Whoa, posts from *you* and *HYP* within a month! My OCD stalking of both your sites totally paid off!
I need this book!
Free book? Yes, please!
I think I might have peed a little from laughing so hard. Is that more interesting than talking about a cat?
I thought this post was about me. Then I kept reading and now I KNOW it was about me. Thank you for being a friend.
My name is Ken and I need this book.
Woo.
Yay, you’re back! I definitely need this book because I am losing the skill of conversing with people about anything other than my cat’s dietary habits.
What do you have planned for this weekend? Did you get your hair cut recently? I like purple.
But what if my cat really DID do the funniest thing yesterday? Huh? And may I add: wordswordswordsboringwords.
Signed,
People at cocktail parties hate me.
me me me me me, please!
Linda Bottino.
by the way, I missed you!
YES…. i need that book!
What a wonderful giveaway!
Tara Eastman for an entry….
p.s. have missed your blog posts. 🙂
I have a gluten allergy. That’s how bad I need this book. Pleeeeeease. Plus it will help me overcome my trust issues with you.
You are buying books to give away with your own REAL money? Wow, that’s something. If I win a copy of this book, I will send you a copy of my husband’s new book, Federal Pleading Standards in the 21st Century. It’s a page turner, let me tell you! Actually, it’s probably the antithesis of How to be Interesting. I’ll send you a copy anyway.
I have already purchased 3 copies so if I win, please pick somebody else who can benefit. The book is awesome… and we’re so glad you’re back!
Are we being literal about the “leaving your name” bit? What about nicknames? Pen names? Embarrassing remnants of childhood pet names that we don’t want anyone to ever know, ever?
Glad to see another post here. Y’can call me whatever you like.
Also, I want to read this book so I have an excuse to buy it for everyone I work with. Is that wrong?
You don’t have to leave your name. As long as you provide an email address when prompted (it won’t be published), I’ll know how to find you and make you or someone you know more interesting)
I’m always excited to read a new book! Pick me – Anna W 🙂
I need this book! From one socially awkward gal to another.
Can’t wait to read more of your posts. I already had unresolved trust issues, don’t worry.
I’m not boring, I’m uh, I’m um, ah, you know what? Just let me have a chance at winning alright?
Ha! I literally walked away while someone was still talking to me and an acquaintance this weekend. She. Would. Not. Stop.
I would love to read this 😉
Thank you for being interesting and having interesting friends. Life sucks less when it’s fun!
Ha! I accidentally scrolled too fast at first and it looked like an animation of you jumping through the window. Bonus animation. I can relate to this! 🙂
I finally stopped talking because I believe that everything I say is boring. So winning the book will change my life.
I’m glad you’re not dead, I had worried a little.
Because I love your blog, and that would have made me all of the super sad.
I love indexed 😀
First, I have to tell you about this thing on my dog’s shoulder that oozes sometimes…
My name is Marisa, and you should definitely pick me!
(Except if this giveaway is US only, in which case, let me excuse myself so I can go cry quietly in a corner)
So glad to see you back! Pleasepleaseplease stay this time! We promise we won’t bore you to death! 🙂
PS. My name is Jessa.
If you gave me the book I would proceed to give it away to someone I know who could really use it!
My name is Candy
I like that you know about the broken trust thing…makes me trust you more, against my better judgement, perhaps. It all goes back to my parents divorce, blah blah blah
also, my dog did the cutest thing!
My name is Kerstin and I would love a copy of the book!
Woohoo! You’re back! I totally want to be (more) interesting, and learn how to get away from people who talk about their cats’ digestive challenges.
I certainly need some help to be more interesting. While I do not tax others with tales of my cat climbing into the dishwasher, instead I sit silently and try to look alluring. (it’s not working!)
What, you don’t like forced awkward conversation drawn out with boring topics? Isn’t it the worst. I love that you’ve jumped out the window haha.
I just found your blog and I love it!
My name is Lindsay.
Just when I thought thought I would never again see a post that uses the phrase fuck your shit I’m in a bear suit (which is practically vernacular at our house) you’re back. YAY!
Also would love the book – Alexis Dubief 🙂
I’m a law student and EVERY time I tell someone that they say, “oh, I better watch out or you might sue me.” And then I slowly back away before I punch them in the face.
comment.
My name is Liz and I’d like a copy (I couldn’t think any anything witty to write so I might actually need it)
Wait, I haven’t missed the deadline yet?!
My name is Melissa, and I “hold alt, 3, release” reading!
I’m so boring I can’t think of a clever comment
I’m kind of DYING to be interesting. I hope you pick me!
sf
Very funny. Keep it up!
Ooo oo ooooooo! I like things that aren’t boring! Pick me pick me!
Glad you’re back!
Wow! So glad you’re back… I’m quite sure my cats and I could benefit from this book!
I totally want to tell you about the boring, but kind, person who told me in detail for half an hour about the color scheme of her entire house. Oh, God, it was so dull…
She needs this book.
I fear that talking about how dull someone else is may also be quite dull … I need this book too.
Yay! You’re back!
As always, I’m too late to hope for the free book. Guess I will have to buy it myself. But, I’ve been wanting to write a funny post about what I am actually thinking when teaching piano lessons to that student who justdidn’tdoesn’teverhavetimetopractice and I was wondering if you would mind if I “grabbed” the pictures of you jumping out your window and used them. I would refer back to you I promise.
And I’d love to hang out, but I’m actually busy this weekend (this never actually happens). Maybe next weekend?
Can you talk her into a pamphlet or index card that I can keep handy and just pass out. Also will there be chips like AA?
“Hello my name is X and It’s been 3 months since I told a story about my lactose intolerance.”
I am kind of awkward and people only need 2 minutes to realize they would rather talk to that person on the other side of the room from me. Like, anyone on the other side of room.
What an awesome post I can so relate to it! You tickle my funnybone!
I just came across your blog from The Bloggess website, and I love it!
[…] From her post Good News For People Who Hate Boring News […]
This was AWESOME. I, too, invite myself to these awkward conversations unintentionally. If there’s a total nut job walking down the street, they’re definitely going to talk to me.
I have a very simple way to handle people and their boring conversations. It requires one step. When they start going on about their recent sinus infection that has had a detrimental effect to their sweater knitting, I fart. Yes, it’s kind of gross, but it shuts those words up real quick.
I am so boring, I truly need this book. Love, Kim
[…] From the writer behind This Is Not That Blog comes the enchanting stick figure run down of what happens when you’re trapped in unnecessary small talk with a stranger, Good News for People Who Hate Boring News. […]
[…] This post is really, very good. I know nothing about the book she plugs at the end. The book doesn’t even matter. I just love the stick figures. […]
For people with boring conversations, I quickly look the other way and run.
wow same! ( ;} )
super cool work. always belive in self.