*There is one noteworthy exception to this chart, and that is on the occasion that I am being attacked by wildlife. This has happened to me several times. Most recently, I was pushed off of my road bike (while my feet were clipped into the pedals) by an egret.

If anyone has any information about this egret, please contact me:

For the record (and perhaps in my defense), when I got closer to the egret, it looked more like this:



25 Responses to how I feel about working out*

  1. Jaime says:

    attacked by wildlife… seriously? I’ve NEVER been attacked by wildlife….. but I do agree with your sentiments on working out, though I’ve never made it to the “I win at life” ending… normally I’m stuck on the “hohmygah dontwanna” permanently and get mad and then sad and then I don’t work out again for a year.

  2. Taylor says:

    My stepmother got her entire head (and shoulders, shirt, bra) covered when a pelican shat on her head. Except, unlike you, she totally deserved it.

    Evil effing birds!!

  3. I hate birds. On a kinder note, I hate working out.

  4. Nothing like gangster rap to unfurl one up from the fetal position!

  5. twobusy says:

    A bad egret can really fuck you up.

  6. I have a crush on you.

    And I have totally seen that egret. But he threatened me. So I’m his whiny bitch now.


  7. Suniverse says:

    And that is why I do not exercise outdoors.

    The only wildlife I have to deal with are old people who constantly talk to me and other people who do not understand that WIPE OFF THE MACHINES means WIPE OFF THE MACHINES.

  8. Alexandra says:

    EVERY single time I come here I do the same thing:

    pound my head against the keyboard trying to figure out WHY there aren’t 187 comments here.

    You are amazing.

    Really, allie brosh amazing.

    And I have nothing to gain by telling you that.

    Just the satisfaction that I told the truth at least once today.


  9. Dani G says:

    I know that egret. Bitch tried to run me down, too.

  10. mry says:

    Does a crazed Pomeranian count as “wildlife” because that jerk had it in for me, I’m telling you! I barely made it out of there without ferocious ankle injuries!

  11. Greta says:

    Yes, this. Exactly this.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I hate when people ask if you had fun at the gym. No. It’s not a freacking arcade. At least there are no birds in the gym.

  13. Katie Carr says:

    Please. God. Make this into a t-shirt.

  14. Luda says:

    I don’t think that’s an egret. I think that’s a pterodactyl. They are very dangerous creatures and I think you should call the police. Also, I believe they are extinct, which makes this especially worrisome.

  15. Yes, I feel the same way. And while I know nothing about egrets, I have been charged by a couple of 800 pound cows. Charged with being too cute for their pasture.
    Oh wait….different blog.

    Doo dee doo, ho hum. um. yeah.

  16. Goradde says:

    that’s a really tall swan.

  17. David Jones says:

    Haha,nice image it reminds me the time when I was going at the gym each day.

    Each part of the image is related to me, very good job drawing it.

    I think a lot of people find themselves in that image

  18. Eryn says:

    Came to show this to my husband & realized it posted my earlier comment (about the gym not being an arcade) as anonymous. No clue on why. I do have to take responsibility for the typo, though.

    Still funny the second time around!

  19. Theresa Brewer says:

    And that is why I do not exercise outdoors. Does a crazed Pomeranian count as “wildlife” because that jerk had it in for me, I’m telling you! And I have totally seen that egret.

  20. seagulls attacked me once as a child for no reason. accept I had chex mix. and I was throwing it in the air at them. But it was MY chex mix. I assume that’s what it’s like to be attacked by an egret and/or a pterodactyl. All probably terrifying but also good motivation to get better at running…in the gym.

    gyms probably invented scary birds.

  21. House Lee says:

    I can really relate to the store portrayed by this cute cartoon character. It is like a vicious cycle where I have to deal with every time I intend on coming back to the my fitness plan after a few months with unhealthy lifestyle.

    Though, I really love the facial expression of the last guy saying, “I win at life.”

  22. […] and just because it’s funny: (source: thisisnotthatblog) […]

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