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In what I can only assume is God’s way of apologizing for that time my mom tricked me into letting her cut my hair into a “Rachel” and I ended up looking literally NOTHING like Jennifer Aniston and plenty like an awkward 13-year-old who had allowed her own mother to cut her hair in her family’s guest bathroom, something very exciting has happened: Today, I am a guest over at Kelley’s Break Room.

Before you go there (and you totally should, there are lots of bad drawings there), I need to tell you that Kelley’s absolute favorite thing is Pepto-Bismol. I also should mention that it is NEVER wise or 100 percent safe to try to light Pepto-Bismol on fire with a kitchen blowtorch (or any other kind of fire) and that Pepto-Bismol might not actually protect you from fire.

This will all make perfect sense once you get to Kelley’s place.


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*The following post was written in a delirious state of sleep deprivation. I returned from a wedding-weekend extravaganza only hours ago, and I am so tired I could curl up in a ball and sleep in my garage for a week. Seriously. I’m not picky anymore. Just let me sleep.

First, let me say: If you’re in the mood for some bad drawings, I’m guest posting at the hilariously irreverent Jillsmo’s place today. See me take on the This Is Me Meme.

And now, for the results tens of people have been waiting for…

I’ll start by saying that I had no idea that the giveaway was going to be such a success. Thanks to everyone who entered, faux feuded (really feuded?), blogged or tweeted to help promote my first-ever give away.

A special thanks to VitaminP of Your Headlights Are Out for being the judge. I have it on good authority that he was very thoughtful, diplomatic and careful with his deliberation. (Seriously, he explained his process via e-mail, and he was not messing around.)

Here’s an excerpt from the e-mail:

“Murderparty is more than just indelible rage. Murderparty isn’t something fun or cool that you invite your friends to and have wine spritzers at. Murderparty is bigger than that. It’s bigger than all of us. And that one comment that summed up what, to this alkee, Murderparty is really all about…belonged to Princess Muffintop (twitter handle PMuffintop), who I declare the winner of this contest.”

So congratulations to Princess Muffintop, the proud new owner of a vampire squid/murder party shirt. Can I just say: Please never wear it while being arrested.
Here’s the winning comment:

Because saw about ten times the comments I expected, I decided to randomly select a second winner. And the second winner is…

FranceRants (twitter handle FranceRants)

(If you have a recommendation for a better software or program to pick a random winner from a comment section, I’m all ears. I searched for an hour, and although it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, it did get the job done.) (It doesn’t help that I’m pretty sure I’m sleep walking right now.)

Congratulations to both winners. Please e-mail me (, so I can get your shirts to you.

If you didn’t win, I have some good news: Because some of you threatened to kill me (lovingly I’m sure) if I could not get vampire squid/murder party shirts to you, I am going to spend some time this week getting a Cafe Press store open. More on that later.


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