I was at my mom’s house yesterday when I noticed that she still has a stack of encyclopedias on her bookshelf.

They are the encyclopedias my grandmother tried to get rid of after concluding that they were too old; at which point, my mother took them, thinking they would be useful for my brothers and sister and me to do our school work with. To recap: They were too old for my grandmother, so my mother took them for her children to learn from.

They are from 1963.

Nearly every bad grade I got in elementary school–in 1994, a relatively bad year for internet research, but an even worse year for encyclopedia’s printed in 1963–suddenly made sense.

I spent some time flipping through “A”. Here’s what I can tell you: I am more confused about the 1960s than ever, but I have learned a few things.

Which to me looked more like…

 

15 Responses to “A” is for “Are you being serious right now?”

  1. Jaime says:

    Bahahahahaha… We had a bunch of ancient encyclopedia’s as well… My mum thought we really could use them…. It’s not wonder my social studies teacher was confused when I talked about the USSR like it still existed.

  2. Lady B says:

    I actually laughed out loud which then prompted my boss to look at me as though I came to work high.

    It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. The dirty looks from the boss. Not the “coming to work high”. The closest I ever came to that was showing up hungover because I went out with the VP’s of my company the night before.

    Let me tell you, 45 year of Financial Institution Executives can drink a shit ton of Grey Goose.

    I just wish I had a secretary to bring me juice.

  3. Handflapper says:

    My mother had those Encyclopedia World Books. My son did learn to identify all the major breeds of dogs recognized by the American Kennel Club at age three. So, there’s that. Of course, now they have all these bullshit breeds like the Peruvian Inca Orchid and the (I swear I am not making this up) Xoloitzcuintli.

    • Hey!! Don’t diss the xolos!! They’re an ancient breed with “magical healing powers” So there. And yes, it has been scientifically proven through a multitude of faith, natural and holistic healers and shamans. **Ahem**

  4. Prank call your secretary, get free juice, and take a nap under your desk, all the while your rocket pack idles for your ride home from work? I kinda wish I was in the 1960s encylopedia world now….

  5. The sixties look like they were AWESOME! Drug dealers should bring back the look of wearing a suit and a fedora. So much classier!

  6. Somebody should tell the man about to die via rocket sled to take off his black socks and dress shoes. Die with dignity man, die with dignity!

  7. Suniverse says:

    You make me laugh every time. I am dying.

    That last bit? GENIUS.

    Also, we have a set of 1980 something Encyclopedias that the husband WILL NOT get rid of because he will use them! The girl and I mocked him mercilessly until he spent our dinner time for two or so weeks straight jumping up and checking the Encyclopedia! for information on whatever it was we were talking about.

    Now I’m hoping I can get rid of them one page at a time, like a prisoner does with the dirt he’s excavated from the hole behind the poster of Rosalind Russel in his cell.

  8. HeathRobots says:

    You have ruined Mad Men for me. If Don Draper does not get high and act like Joan Rivers next season, I won’t be happy.

    I nominate you to write all the Encyclopedias. Or Wikipedias. Whatever kids are plagiarizing these days.

  9. PS. My mom also had some childrens’ encyclopedias from when she was a child in the 50s. She still has them. They’re kind of an artefact now. They sit in my old room gathering dust, but she can’t throw them out. And no! My family definitely does! not! have! hoarding! issues!!

  10. Meghan says:

    LOL!! My parents only bought half of the set…they’d get them from the grocery store with a new volume every week. I guess they stopped checking for new ones somewhere around “M”.

  11. Luda says:

    “You’re aces” is henceforth my new favoritest thing to say.

  12. So freaking funny!!! My mom still has all the encyclopedias she bought me when I was a kid. I must go through them the next time I visit!

  13. HAH. i so love this. what’s crazier is that i just found two 1968, i think?, “world books” in our car trunk. i don’t even know where the hell we got them (i must’ve gotten in an “accident” and picked them up) but flipping thru them is kind of insane.

  14. My grand father constantly used to watch YouTube comical video lessons, hehehehehe, as he wants to be delighted forever.

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