Editor’s note: There was a sale on blow pops the other day? And I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while? You know that expression “I’m giving out lollipops and ass kickings”? Well, this post is about lollipops and ass kickings, but it was definitely inspired by lollipops and sleep deprivation.
Fact: Lollipops are awesome.
I would further argue that candy-stuffed lollipops are superior to regular lollipops and that these confections have paved the way for some very important culinary discoveries in food-stuffed food, like stuffed-crust pizza.
But of the two most popular candy-stuffed lollipops–blow pops and tootsie pops–which one is better? Or perhaps more importantly, which one would win in a fight?
In one corner:
In the other corner:
These competitors enjoy similar interests, including destroying braces
Getting stuck in hair
And listening to Lil Wayne
When the time came to battle, both candies were prepared to fight ferociously.
But ultimately, the brawl came down to a taste test.
And then something unexpected happened: Enjoying the candies of my childhood gave me Rainbowitis–a disorder known for filling its victims with overwhelming joy and happiness, causing them to forget what they were talking about.
So I guess it was technically a tie. I was too afraid of Double Rainbowitis to consider a tiebreaker.
P.S. I’m fairly certain this goes without saying, but in case there’s any question, I was definitely not paid by anyone to create this post. Although I was hung over on Advil PM when I wrote it, if that counts as a sponsorship.
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