Editor’s note: There was a sale on blow pops the other day? And I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while? You know that expression “I’m giving out lollipops and ass kickings”? Well, this post is about lollipops and ass kickings, but it was definitely inspired by lollipops and sleep deprivation.

Fact: Lollipops are awesome.

I would further argue that candy-stuffed lollipops are superior to regular lollipops and that these confections have paved the way for some very important culinary discoveries in food-stuffed food, like stuffed-crust pizza.

But of the two most popular candy-stuffed lollipops–blow pops and tootsie pops–which one is better? Or perhaps more importantly, which one would win in a fight?

In one corner:

In the other corner:

These competitors enjoy similar interests, including destroying braces

Getting stuck in hair

And listening to Lil Wayne

When the time came to battle, both candies were prepared to fight ferociously.

But ultimately, the brawl came down to a taste test.

And then something unexpected happened: Enjoying the candies of my childhood gave me Rainbowitis–a disorder known for filling its victims with overwhelming joy and happiness, causing them to forget what they were talking about.

So I guess it was technically a tie. I was too afraid of Double Rainbowitis to consider a tiebreaker.

P.S. I’m fairly certain this goes without saying, but in case there’s any question, I was definitely not paid by anyone to create this post. Although I was hung over on Advil PM when I wrote it, if that counts as a sponsorship.

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22 Responses to tootsie pops vs blow pops: a faceoff

  1. Jennifer says:

    We all know that Dum Dums are better. Duh. Your drawings are awesome.

  2. NerdGirl says:

    I gotta give it to the Tootsie Pop because of the strong and consistent finish with no disappointing “this gum is old” regrets. Oh, and just a heads up….I’m totally stealing/borrowing your “this must be what gray tastes like” as a descriptor for all bland/boring/disappointing food items.

  3. Jaime says:

    greatness.

    I lean towards the Tootsie Pop as the tootsie inside is more enjoyable than the gum, IMO

    The gum is yummy but as you said, loses its taste after only a couple chews and maybe one bubble…. whereas the tootsie can be chewed longer for more enjoyment and the flavor tends to last in your mouth for hours after the tootsie has been consumed. That might be suspicious for some as to the chemicals involved in the process of the tootsie, but I maintain that “ignorance is bliss” in regards to tootsie consumption.

  4. Heather H says:

    Awesome! As per usual.

    Personally, I am a BlowPops girl – but I hate the gum. But not as much as I hate Tootsie Roll Pops.

  5. jillsmo says:

    I would NOT want to meet Blow Pop in a dark alley. Blow Pop scares me.

  6. Your drawings are perfect!!

    Confession: I’ve never tried either. But now I want to go out and get a lollipop. ANY lollipop.

  7. Dani G says:

    This is like, frickin’ Sophie’s Choice!!!

  8. Stasha says:

    I love Blow Pops. But not a big fan of the gum… I must agree that chewing that gum must give you a glimpse of what ‘gray’ tastes like.

    Unless gray really tastes like orange. Then we have offended the color gray.

    Hee hee!

  9. Chocolate tootsie roll pops taste like manna.

    Plus I’m pretty sure Blow Pops give you cancer.

  10. Wendy says:

    Great post. I follow lots of blogs, but your is my favorite. (psst don’t tell the others). Glad to see you posting again. Good luck with your moving woes.

  11. Robyn says:

    Blow Pops ALL. THE. WAY.

  12. Handflapper says:

    You were very brave to tackle this serious societal question, particularly in your sleep-deprived condition. I am in awe of you.

  13. Luda says:

    I’m so glad I finally have a taste to associate with the color gray.

  14. I love food that listens to rap.

  15. Tammy R. says:

    Tootsie Pops win hands down! They leave a good taste in your mouth plus you get to search the wrapper for the indian shooting the bow & arrow at the star.

  16. Suniverse says:

    See? This is why you are a genius, because you can offer a public service even while sleep deprived.

    Thanks for this. I needed a rainbow. XOXOXOX
    Suniverse recently posted..Boff Kill Marry

  17. Rabiit says:

    this is wonderful.
    and i hope you dont mine, but i had to use this in an epic battle against my sister. i choose tootsie pops, and she was favoring blow pops. so i punched in “tootsie pops v.s. blow pops” in google, and ba-da-bang there this was. i loved it so much i had to share.

  18. Red says:

    I need a blow-pop. Stat!
    Love blow-pops. No one mentioned on the fact that, when the gum loses it’s flavor, you can spit it out and be left with the yumminess, whereas tootsie-rolls have no yummy aftertaste.

    Plus, the gum is pink, compared to the brown of the tootsi-roll.

    Blow-pops, hands down.
    Red recently posted..Time to Celebrate! (hint: it’s ALWAYS time to celebrate)

  19. sheriji says:

    Ah, what gray tastes like. You are a poet!
    sheriji recently posted..Game Change

  20. Chrystal says:

    Tootsie pop all the way. They taste great and the tootsie in the middle is absolutely delicious. FYI they helped me quit smoking. So i can’t love them anymore.

  21. Jenn says:

    What IS that crap in the middle of a Tootsie Pop? It tastes like the floor of a wax museum. I think Tootsie Pops/Rolls were invented during the Great Depression, when our grandparents couldn’t afford real chocolate. Now they buy it for kids because they don’t realize that we have Blow Pops and Snickers available nowadays.

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