From the monthly archives: February 2011
1. If you spend too much time traveling and not enough time resting, you will definitely get sick.
2. When you do get sick, the internet will be there for you. Like your mom. But in my case, way funnier than my mom.
3. I have wasted every sick day of my 20s until this one. Why didn’t people tell me that I could have a party on the internet when I’m sick? Why? I feel like there were at least six sick days in the past five years I could have spent tweeting snarky thoughts instead of resting. Rest is for punks. Spending a day on the internet is awesome.
4. Spending too much time on the internet tweeting and reading blogs leaves little time to get better. I may still be sick day tomorrow. But the internet will take care of me if I do! Win!
5. Being new in town has its perks. You can wear yoga pants to the grocery store and feel certain you won’t run into your boss or the girls from the Junior League. (Because let’s face it, the girls from the Junior League make you nervous even when you’re wearing your nicest outfit.)
6. I MUST stop responding to men who ask me “How you doing?” It took me several years to realize that these men weren’t actually asking how my day went or how the weather was. And even after it occurred to me that they didn’t give a crap how I was doing, I was too polite not to say “Fine, thanks.” But tonight, after a very suspicious gentleman asked if he could “holler at me,” I realized that I’m not helping anyone by responding. (I told him I was married. He said, “That’s too bad.” And I thought, “Because that’s the only thing standing in the way of this love connection…”)
7. There are already at least 3,459 people on the internet who are practically clones of myself. They’ve been tweeting and blogging since forever, and I should give up now.
8. I WON’T give up now, because I’m still not done talking.
9. If you pass a pick-up truck on the road in a Prius, the pick-up truck driver will try to race you. The bigger the wheels, the more determined the driver will be. Let the pick-up truck driver win. It’s better for everyone that way.
10. The jury’s out on whether or not blogging after a shot of Nyquil is one of the “Five Tools of Awesome Bloggers,”* but that won’t stop me from trying it.
(*Don’t Google “Five Tools of Awesome Bloggers.” I don’t know what you’ll find. It’s not a thing, I just made it up.)
Update: Googled “Five Tools of Awesome Bloggers,” so you don’t have to. Nothing to see. Unless you’re the author of “Five Tools of Awesome Bloggers.” If that’s the case, great job. Super thoughtful title.
So a month ago, I started blogging.
I decided to blog anonymously on the off chance that some day I decided to tell the blogging world something terribly embarrassing or even sad. I don’t like to be personally linked to my weaknesses. Or, more seriously, I feel like in my 28 years some sad things and strange things have happened. Family things, namely. As I build my 21st century family, I’ve been spending more time reflecting on what I learned and how I want to do things differently, and I wanted a place to talk about them without hurting the feelings of people I love.
But it turns out, instead of talking about the sad things or the strange things, I like talking about food.
I also like drawing pictures.
I’m sure I’ll get around to the other stuff. It’s only been a month. And one thing I’ve learned after a month of blogging is that lots of people have been blogging for lots of months–years even–and they still haven’t run out of things to say.
Here are some other things I’ve learned:
1. For a professional writer, I am a terrible proofreader. Seriously, you guys, I have a degree in English. People pay me to write stuff or even edit it. But apparently, as a one woman show, I have some polishing to do. I’m working on correcting this, and I think patience will help. I just get so excited to say something that I post or tweet without reading the message out loud first. I have a similar problem in real life. I once shouted “I lost my innocence at an Olive Garden” in a business meeting. It was not quite what I meant at the time. Thank goodness everyone laughed.
2. Conversational funny is not the same thing as blog funny. I swear to God I’m funny. People say so and everything. Sometimes, I’m even the person they say “Say something funny” to. But I don’t feel like I’m blog funny. Again, I guess it’ll come.
3. This shit takes up a lot of time. Between cooking, photographing, posting, flickr-ing, tweeting and thinking of what to say next, I almost use up the entire day. Which, in my case, is awesome. Have I mentioned I’m new in town?
4. There’s more to posting and tweeting than just spitting out whatever is in your head. If you’re just saying random stuff, than you’re the person in the conversation that just shouts words. “Fire engine!” “Orange hats!” “Sarah Palin!” No one can respond to that. You’re just interrupting the conversation, and that’s not how you make friends.
5. There are a lot of really nice people on the internet. 52 twitter followers, I’m talking to you. Sometimes, I feel like the real world could take some lessons from the internet. I’ve only been up to this for a month, and people are already blowing my mind with their kindness.
6. If you talk to people, they will talk back. Seriously. You don’t have to sit in your house and wonder when your husband is coming home or how many cookies you can fit in your mouth. You can talk to strangers and they will be nice to you. Two strangers that commented on my blog, I’m talking to you.
7. Food blogging is no joke. You can read more about that here. But seriously, some people have super powers.
8. It’s totally worth it. A month ago, I was missing my job, my family, my friends and wondering how I was going to make the days fun while I wait for the Mr to finish up his master’s. Cookies were almost always involved, which means my clothes started to fit funny. In short, I was pretty miserable. But I’m not sad anymore. The internet has warmed my little black heart.
9. Designing a website is hard, yo. I keep thinking I want to create a banner or a more appealing page design. Even though I have the software, I’m not sure where to start. And every time I think I’m going to spend the day working on the design, Twitter does something awesome, and I spend the whole day on the internet. So I have to carve out some time for that. Again, patience.
For a month-long adventure, it’s been pretty awesome.
So thanks, blog world. I think love you, and I’m totally inviting you to my next birthday party.
All text and images by this is not that blog are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.thisisnotthatbog.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be requested by e-mailing notthatkendall@gmail.com.