To Whom It May Concern,

After an unnecessarily long hiatus originally induced by an interstate move and then prolonged by a couple of naps, I had hoped to return–somewhat triumphantly–to the internet today with a post full of pictures! And even sarcasm!

And then, as you might be observing right now, my site imploded with some kind of weirdness that keeps changing and has yet to be cured and I’ve started calling it AIDS. Yeah. My site has AIDS right now. Hopefully, it’s the Magic Johnson kind, but regardless of the variety, I’m pretty sure there will be a slight delay, making my return somehow less triumphant, which is total garbage because I love triumphant returns almost as much as I love run-on sentences.

Since I don’t want to post any pictures–for fear they will be removed or impossible to enjoy because of this bullshit–and I just made a (probably) offensive reference to AIDS, I thought I’d take a second to say hi to Liz (of Jupiter, FL), because I know this hiatus has left her feeling hurt.

Liz: I am very sorry. I have complete confidence that we will be reunited in the near future. Please know that I love you, even though we’ve never met, and that soon we will be together. Forever. (Don’t worry. It’s not creepy, because I didn’t narrow my eyes and use a weird voice…that you know of.)

And to anyone else that reads this, please come back soon. I probably love you, too (unless you’re the guy that invented site AIDS or Tropical Flavored Skittles). Would you read a Friday post? Site AIDS will likely (hopefully) be cured by Friday (I think.)

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3 Responses to the internet ate my homework and then probably gave it AIDS

  1. HYP says:

    I want to die with you. I narrowed my eyes and used a creepy voice.

    Also, I hope this does not turn into a real-life Philadelphia. But if it does, I have The Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen. We can listen to it and die together.

    Speaking of AIDS, my dreams last night featured snow, horses, and Ashton Kutcher. I think my subconscious has AIDS.

  2. Is your new home built on an Indian burial ground? I love me some sarcasm and pictures. Will be eagerly clicking for a new post on Friday. Good luck conquering AIDS!

  3. HeathRobots says:

    I have legit been singing The Streets of Philadelphia all day. I must have sensed your site had contracted AIDS. Or watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia might have subliminally planted the earworm. Let’s go with the AIDS ESP.

    Speaking of ESP, I had a dream a couple nights ago about Sarah Jessica Parker, which is pretty much like dreaming about a horse. HYP & I might be sharing the same AIDS riddled subconscious.

    Off to find some red ribbon!

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